This is what I am going to do tonight, and this is how I will do it

• The girl's at the office decided that 'we' should all go and see a show. Ya know, us women of the office. The show? Menopause the Musical: A hilarious celebration of women and the change.
  
  
• Now, I am no where near the menopausal age, I just work with women that are. I have always worked with ehem, wizened women near the change of life age.
  
  
• I'm going. Going out to dinner with the group too. We are going to a cheesy Italian place for the early bird special. Again, I am the youngest in the office by at least 15 years.
  
  
• I am going because I am sad and in the dumps. I am going because I am woman of accomplishment. I make goals and plan to accomplish things. I have accomplished a master's degree, becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I have been fabulously married x 8 + years, have two awesome children who are more fabulous than I could have ever wished for. I am blessed beyond belief.
  
  
• I am use to getting what I want because I plan and achieve what I want to.
  
  
• Then there is this: I am selling my house. There is a large amount not being able to control, plan, fix, work, break down brick walls by sheer force of will, or make it happen by grit of my teeth. So. I. am. stuck. in. here. Which is kind of like limbo.
  
  
• And my husband, he says, babe, it'll be ok, we've had 15 or so people come and take a look and it's only been on the market for a week. Trust me, he says. And i trust him and I am so sad that my sad is making him sad.
  
  
• so, hear me know!!!
  
  
• I will go to that show and that dinner. I will leave the goddamn sour puss face at the office. I will laugh, smile and enjoy the hell out of the overcooked pasta and weak tomato sauces. I will deny the sad and the sour and my pretentiousness, and, as god as my witness, have an awesome time!!!!
  
  
• I will go to that show and enjoy all the low rent humor and laugh my fucking ass off even if I don't get the jokes because I am full up of my estrogen and suffer none of the 'change of life' consequences. Menopause is nothing I know about. But I will laugh so hard my pee just might come out. A little anyway.
  
  
• I won't just fake it like when I saw the Vagina Monologues. (google it, I can't right now-at work an all) That show wasn't really funny people. Just sayin'.
  
  
• I will not worry about the kids tonight. I will not worry if my parent's are tending to them properly. Or feel guilty or make them make me feel guilty about having them watch the kids. This will be the first time I will have them baby sit since I moved back home. One time in 8 months won't kill them. I will not be home after work but arrive home at around 10.00 pm. Way after their bedtime.
  
  
• I will carry but not clutch my cell phone.
  
  
• I will steal this time, grind it into my bread so that I may feast on the feasts of queens, complete with roast beast!!
  
  
• or Italian sausage, which ever comes first :)

Wish me luck!!!!