Flashback Friday: The new skill of shushing (with updates)

Ironically enough, I am not a big fan of Bjork. Well, maybe I haven't heard the right music.

I am not sure how Mr. Hall figured it out, but he did. After all, he is quite handsome and gainfully employed. Plus, he is very charming and self assured. And so nice. He had his pick of thousand girls. Yet, he choose me with singular purpose. He figured out who I was before I did.

When he met me, I wore my hair like Bjork, was about 180 pounds and required a lot of care. Let me tell you the level of care I once required. Lord help me, here goes.

When we were dating I would visit his house on the weekend. I would bring my dishes. My dishes people.

So he could put them in his dishwasher.

Despite the fact that I had a communal kitchen across from my dorm room.

It boggles the mind, this event. It boggles my mind because it made perfect sense to me at the time. And he saw this, that it made sense to me. And he didn't run for the hills. He saw that I was capable of much more than I was. And for the most part, he didn't say much about who I was or how I operated. Well, except for the hair.

"Babe," he said, "the tail pipes gotta go, they are not attractive."

He also suggested there just might be a better way to eat. Exercise might be something I could do once in a while. He was gentle about it. Never pushy, never mean. Just gentle suggestions once in a while. Suggestions that we could be different, we didn't have to get fat like everyone else in this state. And I fought it like a cat trapped in a cardboard box.

But, that was ten years ago. My overall healthiness has waxed and waned. I have been getting better all along, with a few set backs here and there. A few weeks ago, I figured out what has been holding me back from permanent change.

My thinking. My inner voice. My own talk.

Again, I can over think things to the point where I can't move. Paralyzed by my own voice.

So, on Sunday, I learned how to shut the hell up.

When I had the chance I bolted for the gym. I worked it like no other. All that yoga has prepped me for pushing beyond my comfort zone. I was prepared to ignore and extinguish the tiny doubting voices, the murmurs of self consciousness and the blathering on of freight.

I can honestly say, don't believe everything you think or feel.

The tailpipes, I must agree, were not attractive :)

Me and the wee pancake :)

By the way, reached my goal weight last week

BOO-YA!!

Flashback Friday: "Marriage and Sex: Observations on the male sex drive"

Can anyone come up with a better name than "Flashback Fridays" for when I reprint older posts because I love them so and they would like to be shown off again? :)

As I weave my sexuality back together, I can't help but envy Mr. Hall. Or men in general. Apparently, all it takes to become aroused is consciousness. And if they are near the one who reciprocates the love, then it is unbridled, this arousal. This is especially true for Mr. Hall.

There was an incident, about six years ago, when I was about four months preggos. Chubby, but not obviously pregnant. Pregnancy induced horrible cystic acne. Short boy hair cut (don't ask). Still throwing up. Mr. Hall and I had spent the day at a water park. Me being chubby, horrible cystic acne and short boy hair cut. I felt fugly. And when we got home, he began chasing me around. What the hell?, I thought. Can't you see me? What has gotten into you? And he said, "I've been staring at you all day, I just couldn't wait to get home."

That is when I realized---my husband has permanent love goggles on.

Some five years and two kids later, it remains much the same. Saturday was a day of filling sippy cups, braiding hair, mowing lawns, laundry, blah blah blah domestic bliss blah blah. And we fall into bed. And the chasing begins in earnest. What the heck? I think. And I ask, "What was so arousing today? Was it something I wore? " I mean, I do look good these days, what with the 35 lb weight loss. And I cannot say enough about the wonderbra. But no, none of this was the ticket. Although it does help, he said.

"It was just being around you, sorry it's not more complicated", he said smiling.

My husband is awesome. I need to follow this lead. To be aware of how much he is to me and all the places he excites me. Letting the love flow around me at all times. Not just when I let it. Hee hee. Married sex is fun.

Have a good weekend everyone :)