Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Foster family goodness


Let me start by saying, I love me some family. This is why we foster family.

A few days ago I was struggling. Struggling with my foster Mom responsibilities. We have a foster kid on the weekends and he can be a handful.  He has some behavioral issues that I can't bend or mold them because he only listens to my husband. We can't discipline him like our own kids because he's not.

One of the big issues is the fighting between him and my kids. It was RIDICULOUS THIS WEEKEND.  My kids don't fight, they have a dyad that works well for them. My older daughter is in charge and my middle son follows. It works great.

But, when the foster guy comes it's contentious. They fight over the Wii, they fight over leggos. They fight because it's winter and can't go to the park. They fight over breakfast, lunch and dinner. They fight like brothers and sisters and it drives me nuts.

After one fight, I told my daughter to leave the room. If she's not in charge-she gets all worked up and starts to cry. I think the chaos of not controlling everything makes her world spin too fast. SHUT UP. I REALIZE THIS IS MY PROBLEM TOO. So I sent her to her room to cool off.

I brought the little foster guy up to her room and he apologized and she apologized. I said to him, "You can give Pancake a hug if you want." But my daughter was having none of it. So, I said to him, "You can hug me and pretend it's her." Then he said, "That's what I do with my Mommy. She's behind glass at the jail so I pretend to hug her when I see her."

OH MY GOD. SERIOUSLY. WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT?!!!

It crushed me and made me realize that I'm being way too selfish here. This isn't about me or my kids. There is no dividing line between my kid and my foster kid. We are all children of God. I need to share the joy and love I've been given.

And make the Wii disappear. That device causes way too many fights!


1 Left a message at the beep:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh, this breaks my heart. I can't imagine how tough it must feel to want to help someone but see it disrupt your own family life, too. Good luck navigating this storm!

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