The clean and jerk
As a foster mom there is a lot of waiting, phone calls and endless nothing. I want to obsess. I want to reread the social worker's email and search for clues about things. I want to quiz my husband about every conversation he has with the guardian ad litem. I want to know what is going on besides nothing. Nothing but waiting and nothing decided and it's been over a year and it's going to be longer. Unless it isn't.
Obsessing over nothing is a large waste of my precious energy. And makes me neglect Mr. Hall.
So, this is what I'll do instead:
1. focus on calming the hell down. Breathing. Accepting. Moving on. Be still and know that I am.
2. Fill my obsessive needs with what I have going on right now. Right here. This includes the many kids I have and their various needs.
3. Play more youtube videos and dance all crazy like with the kids.
4. Focus on my crossfit training and marvel and my excellent clean and jerk skills. Every time I go to crossfit my heart explodes with awesome uplifting awesomeness. It helps me channel my crazy in ways I never knew possible.
5. Focus on competition training because holy crap! I'm going to be competing! I hope to add something to my team. I'm working extra hard to be an asset!!
6. Give Mr. Hall extra wifey love because he is worn down.
7. Go to church and try not to cry and cry anyway because I'm so overwhelmed with love.
8. Deeply and madly enjoy each dress I wear. I have so many dresses for summer!
9. Chase my toddler around.
10. Make a lot of food with shrimp. And that tasty pink sauce that is on the sushi. That's good stuff, what is that anyway?
So yeah, that's what I'll do instead!