Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Mind over Matter my Ass



Last summer the Tribe Called Hall went to the fair. Well, several fairs actually. I decided long ago not to be a wussy mom. I was not going to sit on the bench, watching her kids enjoy the rides. Waving and being wussy. No, no! I was going to go on every ride.

This is despite the fact that I get nauseous swinging on a swing set. And even the Ferris wheel make me queasy. So yeah, I got on the tilt-a-whirl determined to just suck it up and power through. Because I love my kids!

Longest five minutes of my life.

I ralphed in a trash bin after the ride. Really loudly. The kids thought it was funny.

Goddammmit!

Then I sat on a park bench with my head between my knees. Then Mr. Hall gently fed me salty popcorn. One piece at a time. Took a good 20 minutes for my vertical hold to solidify the ground in one place.

gah!

Which brings me to yesterday. I tried putting together a gas grill.



I am not a handy woman. Yet, I was determined to put it together. I layed out all the parts, studied the manual and got through step 5. Only there was something wrong. I couldn't get to step six.

I retraced my steps. I restudied the manual. I looked over the parts. It just wasn't jelling. Then I got flustered and didn't want to ask for help. Cause I didn't want to be one of those wives that is helpless. So stared at the manual, then at the grill. Then at the manual. I couldn't start step six cause it the picture in the manual didn't match THE DANG THING IN FRONT OF ME.

So I stared some more.

For 35 minutes.

Then I felt a migraine rip through the right side of my head.

GAAAHAHH!!!

My vision got blurry and I thought I was going to pass out.

wahaaha!!

It was a complete SYSTEMS FAILURE!

bbaaah!!

So, I say this.

Sometimes, it's good to be humbled.

:P

9 comments:

  1. So. Mr. Hall put the gas grill together this afternoon.

    which is fine.

    i can make babies!

    TRY TO TOP THAT!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The thing I am best at assembling is anything made by *Step2* - that kids toy brand. Seriously, I have mad skillz when it comes to putting kid items together. Glad Mr. Hall came to your aid. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. At my last job, one of my duties was to put together product for display. The instructions that come with the products do not have a step by step procedure. The have an exploded diagram of the product.
    Good thing I have a knack for putting things together....

    ReplyDelete
  4. GiGi: I refuse to give in. I'll find something else to put together!! just you wait!!

    SAVAGE SHUSH!! NOT FAIR!!! THAT KNACK DOES NOT COME WITH THE Y CHROMOSONE!! NO SIRREE!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Women were not meant to assemble BBQ grills. You could ruin a perfectly good manicure doing that!

    ReplyDelete
  6. How 'bout your ASS over your MIND ? THAT'S what MATTERS !

    (Yeah, I didn't read this one either...)

    ReplyDelete
  7. DM: merr.

    Heff: COME ON! I don't write these things for me ya know.

    Well, i sort of write them for me.

    but still

    DUDE READ IT OR DON'T COMMENT!

    IMMA PUTTIN MY FOOT DOWN!

    there.

    I said it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So....is this a picture of the completed grill, or is this just an image that found on the internet........wussy....

    ReplyDelete
  9. SHUSH!!!! Its not a photo of the grill itself but a similar model.

    ReplyDelete

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